Normal Days

When do you get to a point in your life that you go about living your normal day when you have a loved one at war? How do you get back to the point where you feel like it's okay to go about your normal routine and complain about trivial things when you actually fear for the life of a loved one?

Of course, I will never let my soldier know of my fears. I will be a rock for him - just as my husband has been a rock for me, but sometimes, especially when I am alone, the tears just come on their own. The dark thoughts can't be stopped and I have to work very hard at suppressing them.

I have always known that it would be difficult for me to let go of my babies when they grew, but I thought I would have to let them go off to college or to live with a girlfriend. I didn't prepare myself for them to be 12 hours by plane away with no way for me to get to them.

What did parents do all those years ago during WWI and WWII and Vietnam? Before days of internet and cell phones? I know back then children were not as cherished as they are now, but even though many children were born as a way to keep the farm and family going, you can't tell me they weren't loved as much. Being a mom is being a mom. I can't even imagine having to let me baby go to war and not being able to communicate.

Hats off to all those women who loved those babies and had to let them go.

All I ask if that you ask your Higher Power to keep watch over our soldiers.

Love the soldier...hate the war.

Peace.

Emotions and time are a funny mix. When my son left it was so easy to be positive, but as time passed, my mind started wandering and my fears set in. Little by little the anxiety took over and I couldn't wait to hear from him, to the point where I was obsessed with both my phone and Facebook. I knew that the moment I was away from any electronic device, the boy would call.

I am prone to break out in compulsive crying, which is never an attractive condition to have, but so far, I have been able to keep that under control.

My husband has been annoyingly stable. Like a rock...I need someone to have a meltdown with me. Someone to share a bottle (or two) of wine and commensurate with for hours at a time. I have a huge network of fellow PAM's (Proud Army Mom's), but none live close enough.

Note to self: Must add wine to the grocery list.

Still no word...

But in most cases, no news is good news. I do know that he's safe and that other from his unit have called home. Why didn't I send him off with an International Calling Card?? I had no idea. So if you're new to this Army stuff, make a note.

Deployment - Day 1

Hiddy-Ho readers! Thanks for stopping here and checking this out. I started this blog as a way to deal with deployment. Apparently, I'm not very good at this! I'm very fortunate in that my soldier's wife lives right down the road from me (in the same neighborhood even) and I love her to pieces, but I miss and worry about my boy.

Don't get me wrong...I love my country. I LOVE my country, but I feel we are fighting a war we can not win and I don't think 1 single American life should be sacrificed for the cause at hand. I stand by every single soldier. They have my unwaivering support, but I wish every last one of them were back home. Safe. Taking care of us from here.

So hats off to our soldiers. And to all that support them - moms, dads, sisters, brothers...and especially the wives and children.

Much love to all.