When I started this blog I was hoping to use it as a cooping tool for while my son was deployed, but really I haven't used it for much. Between work, school and family commitments, little time winds up being left over, but I think that's about to change. A dear friend of mine, whose son is deploying to Afghanistan in July has put together a hometown support group. We'll meeting at my house and I'll start by blogging about our meetings.

On a side note, it has been difficult the last two weeks. While it is easy to say you have a soldier at war, the reality of it is shocking to the system. The everyday dangers that lurk don't overshadow all of our activities that way this does, so my goal is to turn this into a great coping tool.

One thing I want to use this for is to segregate the different needs of the wife and the mom while the soldier is away. There are a lot of resources out there for the families, but what it boils down to is you need to find what works for you.

I'm excited to really use this blog as a tool. First meeting is Sunday the 8th. Pics and more to follow!

Peace out.

People Are Annoying

I find myself getting increasingly annoyed by people in general. I'm on Facebook a lot, even when I'm working because of the time difference. If my soldier gets online, I can stop and chat with him for a few minutes, but more and more lately, I see why our soldiers come back and are so angry.

One person went on and on in their status about how their farm wouldn't load right and how frustrated they were. Are you fucking serious??? My boy is overseas getting shot at. Everyday I pray to my Higher Power that his vehicle doesn't run over an IED and your fucking farm won't load? I wish that could be my biggest problem.

How can we expect our soldiers to readjust to civilian life with incidence when civilian life has been reduced to this?

I don't get it.

I finally got to talk to my soldier!! My constant obsession with Facebook has finally paid off and I got to chat with him for a long time. He's very stressed - I'm sure it's a very difficult adjustment for these guys. My son is infantry and now understands why we wanted him to change his MOS. When all is said and done, I think he'll be able to handle it, but he's one to keep things inside. He thinks by not talking about it he can keep us from worrying, but that's just not the case. I think the general population has a hard time understanding the stress that our soldiers are put through and all that they have to deal with. Unless you've experienced it you can't possibly imagine, so please don't be too quick to judge our troops.

These men and women have given up more than you can possibly imagine. It's hard to even let them go and I get slightly irritated when people tell me they understand because they just packed their child up and sent them off to college. Sorry. Not the same thing. I've had to worry about a kid (two actually) moving out on their own and yes, I did worry, but nothing like this.

So if you believe in a Higher Power, please ask him to keep our troops safe.

Lunch with an Army Wife

What a great day today has been. It's cold and dreary out, but I had lunch with a good friend and her new baby she just happens to be an Army wife. What a strong group of woman these Army wives are.

It is very difficult to let my son go and have so much faith in his unit, his training and his battalion to keep safe, but even though I have a daughter-in-law, I still never really looked at through the eyes of the wife.

As we had lunch with her tiny little baby, and she told me that she sometimes feels bad for her husband because he's missing out on so much. I guess this is just another sacrice these men make for our country. Not to mention the sacrifice the wives and family make, too.

Shout out to all the Army wives!!!

Rantings

I realize that it was only a day ago that I went on and on about have grateful I am to have so much communication with my soldier, but I was thinking about the internet issue when I was driving home today and I got a little irritated. Internet is available to my son in Afghanistan for $80 for the first month and $55 each month after. Now this expense isn't a hardship for my son. While he's away his wife is living at home and she works, but think of how many soldiers are away whose salary is supporting their family?

These families not only have to deal with their husband and father being deployed and having the stress of war on both of them, but the Army has added another bill to what could be their already stretched out budget.

These soldiers have to pay for too much for themselves. We really ought to do more for them while they are deployed. They have to pay their own airfare to come home - even pre-deployment. That can be very expensive because those with armed service experience know that the government isn't big on letting you know in advance the exact dates of your leave.

There are also a lot of items that the soldiers need while deployed that need to be sent to them. I'm not talking gum and beef jerky here either. Some of the bases are very remote and don't have a PX where necessities can be purchased. This isn't a big deal for some families, but like I said earlier, some are already living on a shoestring.

The government kind of double-dips on their pay. They are paid with tax dollars, that the government than taxes and then charges them fees on what's left for things like the internet, that surely they will pay for if they are away from home.

I'm just saying...

Parenting 101

Wow...this is old. I found it when I was going through some old files. I wrote it many, many years ago:

Nothing you read can actually prepare you for motherhood. Granted, it will help, but only in a broad sense. You can say good-bye to sleeping in, uninterrupted, hot dinners, and spending money.

So forget, for a moment, all the books and stories you’ve read that with “How to...” or “What to expect when...”. These books are helpful, but here’s the way it really happens:

Day One: You’ve had your guts ripped out less then 24 hours ago and all they offer you is Tylenol. There’s a reason for this. They’re saving the sedating drugs to numb you when your kids become teenagers.

Day Two: Remember when you were still pregnant? Your face glowed and your hair was shiny and full of life? Today you are longing for those things. The books warn you that you may miss being pregnant. What they don’t tell you is that when you are no longer pregnant you undergo a hormone change that dulls your hair and transfers those oils right to your face.

By the sixth week you’re definitely enjoying motherhood. You’re watching a personality form right before your very eyes. This is also about the time you can expect to stop crying over everything.

The relationship between you and your husband will change. Remember a lifetime ago when you used to have candlelight dinners at romantic restaurants and a quickie was something you did for fun? Well now the two of you will be delighted to share a hot dog and a loving look in the same room.

Soon you will be facing life with a toddler. Now is the time you can look forward to going out to eat again. Not to a real restaurant, of course, I mean the kind of restaurant that serves such culinary delights as dunkin’ nuggets. Everywhere you go you’ll ask the same question that mothers have asked for generations: “Can I have extra napkins with that?”

Enjoy this next phase because now you’re the hero (this won’t happen again until your child is an adult). Your little darling will be so proud of mommy that you’ll be volunteered, on numerous occassions, to bake 50 cupcakes for tomorrow’s event. Like I said, enjoy this because by the time they turn seven they will no longer be able to kiss you in public.

By second grade you’ll child will want to join every activity that will accept him. This not only means that you’ll be shelling out registration and uniform fees, you’ll also be the chauffeur.

They’ll also be forming opinions now, and voicing them loudly. They won’t like the clothes you pick out, the suppers you cook (this only applies to you if you try to serve your child a vegetable), or the rules you create to keep your home running smoothly. All the books say they need and want the rules you set for them. You need to read this in a book because you wouldn’t guess that by their behavior.

About this time a lot of parents consider having other children. This is because you’re already starting to undergo visible signs of brain damage.

With or without all those books to tell us how to handle motherhood, I think we’d all get along just fine. No doubt, it’s the toughest job in the world. But if given a choice, this mom would do it all over again.

Normalcy is Setting In

Well, normal for me, at least.

I actually had a cry-free day yesterday. Huge accomplishment.

I woke up this morning and I even had an email from the boy!! It was only 2 sentences long, but I was thrilled! They are at thier destination and it's okay to ship stuff. Well, I already started shipping stuff when he left, so he should have his first package in a day or so. My kind of "being on it" personality that normally drives him insane will come in very handy for this deployment because it's my mission to make sure he loves every box he gets from home.

Sure, I sent him some essentials: disposable washclothes, body wash and deodorant, but it's packed full of skittles, beef jerky, gum and all sorts of stuff I'm sure you can't find in the middle of nowhere ... including a ball that can bounce 75 feet in the air. I'm sure you can't have too many of those!

His laptop is on his way and if rumors from some Army wives prove true, he can have internet service on it for only $55/month. Hardly seems like war (said with sarcasm).

I know I've said this before, but can't imagine what it must have been like all those years ago to send your boy off to war and just wait at the train station and hope they show up. Mad respect to all those parents and to all those service men and women out there.

Another blog I read mentioned old and torn up flags (if you ever see this Miss Tia, here's a shout out to you), which is so disgraceful. So if you see one of those flags, please mention it to the owner and ask them to replace it. It'll be our little way of quietly thanking all of the military personnel for thier sacrifices.

A dear friends daughter noticed a torn flag at McDonalds recently and said something to the manager, who apologized and had the flag replaced.

First Contact!

Yeah!! I had my first direct contact from my son. It was only a two sentence email, but still it was something. I'll be happier when I get to hear his voice, but I'll take what I can get at this point.

I've read tons of good things aobut

Sissy's Need Not Apply

Sleepless night #2. I'm learning that sleep is so over-rated! Well, I've learned that lesson once before, when the kids were infants, but it's good to get a refresher every now and than.

I remember when the kids were little and I would wake up every few hours even when they were sleeping and run in and check on them to make sure they were still breathing. Who knew 20 years later I'd come full circle and still be worrying about the same thing.

Oh, or when they only had their license for a year and were able to stay out late and I'd lie awake in bed waiting for them to come home.

Ok..so I guess I have a history of insanity, but I come by that honestly and I have the stories to prove it! The only thing my mother lacked to prove her insanity was a note from her Dr.

Let's take a moment to reflect on what I've learned about myself this first week (yes, it's only been a week...feels like a lifetime): I am neurotic. This is not new news. I worry alot, and I should probably be medicated, but I'm so not going to do that. I can handle this because I am strong (2nd lesson learned), which leads us to the 3rd and final lesson learned: Mommying is not for sissy's.

I don't care if your child is 2 hours or 200 years old, you just want their life to be perfect and it hurts when you have to let them learn lessons or leave the nest, or watch them be sick.

So let's spend the rest of our day counting our blessings and being positive.

Peace out.

Dreams

Wow...I wasn't prepared for the dreams. Apparently, when you spent most of your day suppressing your feelings, they eventually come out anyway...who knew.

I do not watch war movies or know war lingo, but I have been having very vivid war dreams.