One month...wow. It feels like a lifetime since we got the news. My goal today is to stop replaying in my mind the same message we received over and over again. To many, my son is just a number in the deadliest month in Operation Enduring Freedom, but to us he was so much more.
I got a message from a good friend, whose son is home on R&R from Afghanistan and she told me about some of the struggles they were having as a result of the stress our soldiers are under and I was suddenly sad because I should be having those same exact struggles this week. Our sons should have traveled back to the US together. I should be concerned over how Christopher is handling the stress and I should be having serious talks with him over his attitude and how he can do this and I should be concerned over how angry he gets over simple things or how he snaps at us because he is now home and safe now.
But I don't get any of that. Instead I get grave markers and official reports of how my son was killed under hostile conditions. And I will continue to struggle and fight for the positive in all this because I just did not lose my son, I lost America's son.
My son makes it possible for me to have the freedom to write this blog and for you to read it. He gave me the freedom to make my own decisions and to be a part of this tradition we call America. He gave me the freedom to vote for whoever I want and to turn around and bitch about that vote, if I so desire.
He makes it possible for me to live in a country where bread and milk are everywhere - you don't even have to have a job to afford those luxuries because of him and the freedoms he protects, he'll go out there and fight so that you can get a government voucher for the necessities.
He is not only my son. He is my pride and joy and nobody with a gun or with what I think are insane religious views can take that away. He walked his path with pride. I hope oneday we can all look back and feel that same way.
My heart goes out to you, This Army Mom. I cannot begin to imagine how empty your heart must feel. My son is just about to turn 8. How is his brother doing? I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI worry so much about his brother...he is doing well, but, they truly were best friends and have been for years. He is so sad with his hero in his life. I know that we will all get through this extraordinary hard time, but I just can't picture life without one of our boys.
ReplyDeleteYou write very well. Yes, that it exactly how I feel -- that Chris was America's son.
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