Lessons Learned

The most fascinating lesson I learned along my grief journey so far, is the one in psychology. Grief has not only taught me a lot about myself, it has taught me a lot about you. Here are the two greatest lessons I’ve learned: • I know you are insensitive if you tell me (as a non-grieving parent) that you know what I feel like – and you argue with me when I tell you that you don’t. You don’t send a son to war and not wonder what you would do if you lost him. What I imagined and what I am feeling…a million times worse than what I thought it would be. You don’t know. Please don’t minimize my feelings by pretending you do. • I see a glimpse of your marriage as I watch you react to my daughter-in-laws widow status. If you tell me how young she is and will find someone new, I know you don’t love your husband like I love mine or like she loves hers. However, when you tear up at seeing the hurt in the 20 year old widows eye who not only buried her husband, but her unborn children and their lives together, I know how much you love your marriage.