Thursday, April 26, 2012
In just 27 days it will be two years since we lost our Christopher. It's hard to believe that this much time has passed and that I'm still breathing. That I've experienced two years of life without an entire piece of me. I'm sad today. I found an old prescription bottle for 2003 in Christopher's name in the cabinet yesterday and it was enough to send me on my way to a bad night, but I woke with the sun once again and am still trying my best to find the positive.
Kids don't understand how much their parents love them. They don't love us like we love them. They do when they are very little, but they lose that as they grow, which is the order or nature. We don't lose that. They continue to love us, yes...but it's different.
I miss my son today. I miss him everyday. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the fact that I have to do this for the rest of my life.
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I wish I could tell you that you don't have to do this the rest of your life, but that would be a meaningless lie. I agree that kids don't understand the depth of love that their parents have for them, the urge to protect never goes away. A Military mom lives in hell from the day her child enters a war zone, the fear and worry and for those whose nightmare becomes reality is unthinkable. The loss of a child in any circumstance is beyond tragic, but I can't imagine the days of fear, it has to age you. I remember when my brother was in Vietnam and my mom being glued to the news every night, I was young so it's only a vague memory. Thank you for starting this blog!
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Every...single...day. I don't think it ever stops. Sometimes the smallest thing can stop you right in your tracks and bring it back.
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