Today marks 20 weeks since we learned that Christopher was killed. 20 weeks. When my baby was little I counted the time in day and weeks - and now I've reverted to the same thing. I described motherhood to people like this: you find that you suddenly can't live without this person that you met just moments ago. Yet now, I'm forced to do just that.
I can't believe that I've gone this long without him, but the more time passes, the more I miss him. Each clicking of the second hand takes away another tiny piece of my soul.
I can't believe that this is our new reality. I have so much swirling in my head, but when I try to write...it's a complete blank.
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